A partial saga of my arguments with Avery

I have a friend named Avery, with whom I argue a great deal. There are many, varied issues we do or have argued about. I shall attempt to present here a brief summary of most of these.

Abortion:

Avery thinks it should be banned under every imaginable circumstance unless the mother’s life will without a doubt be endangered by having
the baby. He argues that, from day 1, a fetus is a collection of unique genetic material that should never be destroyed by human actions, as that would be murder.

My views have actually changed over time. I’ve begun to understand where Avery is coming from on this one. However, I do believe that early-term abortions should be legal, especially if the mother is in a situation where it would be financially or socially disastrous for her to keep the child. Also I believe that women should be allowed to terminate pregnancies resulting from rape, and a transsexual FtM (pre- or post-operative) should be permitted an abortion in all circumstances unless the baby can be delivered via Caesarean section and expected to live.

Transsexuals:

Avery thinks transsexuals are mistaken about being the “wrong” sex.

I disagree.

Homosexuals:

Avery believes that homosexuality is a sin and unnatural. He believes that it is unnatural because “men and women were created to love the opposite sex” or something to that effect. He also believes that homosexual couples are incapable of love. He’s said that suicide is higher among non-heterosexuals because they “know what they’re doing is wrong”, and that homosexuals “aren’t persecuted”.

An ordinary recital of those opinions can reduce me to spluttering rage. I belive that Avery is dead wrong: homosexuality is natural and homosexual couples can, in fact, love each other. I know for a fact that much of society (including Avery!) is dead-set against allowing non-heterosexual, non-gender-normal people to be considered fully human, fully normal, fully deserving of the same rights as heterosexuals, or, in fact, “good people”.

Gay Marriage:

Avery believes the concept is wrong, wrong, wrong. He’s against civil unions because it would “force him to acknowledge that homosexuality is a valid choice”.

Spluttering rage again. I believe that homosexual, transsexual, and pansexual couples should have the right to the same social and legal benefits as heterosexual couples who choose to formalise their union.

Religion:

Avery is a devout Christian. He wants me to also be Christian. He claims that all I have to do is have faith in God.

I am a Unitarian Universalist. I attend the First Unitarian Universalist Church of Ann Arbor. Sometime in mid-December, Avery tried to convert me to Christianity for the first time. Prior to that, I had basically not-cared about religion. He told me to read the Four Gospels–Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. I cared enough about him to acquire a Bible and start reading. I’m now partway through John. The more I read, the less I could reconcile these teachings with the practice I had seen and heard of. The more I read, the less I wanted to be a Christian. Later Avery recommended an excellent book titled Blue Like Jazz: Non-religious thoughts on Christian spirituality. I bought and read that, too. The more I read, the more I thought I could become a Christian. However, I found that I could not make the leap of faith necessary to place my heart in God’s hands. Apparently my brain does blind trust, but not faith. Anyway, to continue, sometime in early May or late April, I discovered that someone I was sort-of friends with (and liked a lot) was a Taoist. He recommended that I read The Tao of Physics, which my brother had received for Christmas. I read it, and liked it. Then I finished reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. The two brought up some spooky parallels. It was neat. I recently bought a copy of the Tao Te Ching. I also attended the UU General Assembly and discovered many things about my arguments with Avery; while there, I bought The Modern Buddhist Bible, which I am in the process of reading. Anyway, I have moved past the point, for now, where Avery’s attempts to convert me are useful to my spiritual journey. I don’t think I’ve told him this.

Reality:

Avery: Reality is objective.

Me: Read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Logic:

Avery: Logic is objective.

Me: See above.

Okay, worn out now. *whew* Done.

EDITFULL COMMENT-ANSWERING GOODNESS

Nick: You bugger. Anyway, I’m friends with Avery because… Eh, I don’t really know why. He’s a really nice and lovable person in real life but can get amazingly annoying at times even in person. But I love almost everything about him except his opinions.

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